Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Beans and Cheese Cometh

bad luck! i'm almost out of taco casa burritos:

good luck! i'm going to topeka soon so i can buy enough to fill my giant freezer to the top:


Thursday, January 23, 2014


this is the big time, elite gold status on american airlines:

i can breeze through security:

i can upgrade my seats:

and i can board before all of you regular suckers:

and all it took was months of traveling to places i didn't want to go! i'll see you losers in 2015 when my status expires.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thanks for All the Fish

whelp, we had to move away from the palatial estate:

but don't worry! we found a more expensive home...

that's also smaller:

it's such great news!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Revolution Will Not be Live Streamed

bad luck: my internet was out last week:

i'm sure you TOTALLY noticed that i didn't post.*

good luck: it's back!

bad luck: it's too cold here to feel inspired to write anything.

you're welcome!

*no you didn't, you liar.