Monday, May 25, 2020


i want to be ambitious enough to blog, but it turns out i'm pretty lazy.

and my computer is aaaaaall the way over there.

but guess what? photoshop is now available on ipad! and i’m already holding my ipad because i’m studying up on current affairs and whatnot.

so now i can do the creative, hard work of creating a meta blog post.

we did it!

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

It's Just Biology

for years, i've been thinking about going back to therapy. and what better time to do so than when i'm stuck in the buffy the vampire slayer episode where they're all stuck in the house?

Buffy episode

so i sucked it up and made an appointment. i deliberately chose a woman of color to talk to because, you know, then maybe i wouldn't have to brownsplain myself. so, we get online, and i tell her that i'm looking for some tools to cope with my anxiety in these trying times. really pour my heart out to her.

Heart poured out of pitcher

the first thing she said to me in response was that i looked young.

really young.

could i possibly even be out of my twenties?

i assured her i wasn't posing as someone in my late thirties, but she seemed skeptical. about 40 minutes into our session, she asked me if cabana man was the father of my children.

both of them?

at about 45 minutes in, she told me that she's not a talk therapist, rather a psychiatrist who just does prescriptions. and then she said:

I wish you would have told me you were looking for a talk therapist. We don't do that here.

all in all, i think i may need to keep looking. luckily for me, i'm really young so i have all of the time in the world to find someone. if only i can stop myself from having babies with multiple partners long enough to do so.

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

New Post, Who Dis?

as we can all well see, it's been a grip since this blog was a regular thing. but because i want to give you something to look forward to, gentle reader, i shall be wielding my virtual pen and giving you something to curb the boredom and fear from the covid-19 pandemic:

that said, a lot has changed over the years. for one thing cabana baby has become cabana big boy:

another thing is that cabana big boy has a giant "little" brother named cabana baby clone:

but most importantly, television has gotten really good. so in acknowledgement of these significant life changes, i'll be making some blogging changes, as well.

i will no longer be categorizing things as good and bad luck. you'll need to decide in what category something fits yourself. (hint: everything is terrible, probably forever.)

and that's apparently it because i'm already bored.

i believe in you, you can do it.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

1.5 years later....3 years after that

this post was created 3 years ago but never published. it was so accurate still that i've decided to publish it as is (with the exception of this note). you're welcome....

remember me?

remember when this blog was a thing?

remember when that was a year and a half ago?

yeah. i know. and the thing is, i wasn't even out of material, i had a few posts started:

but i just...didn't do it. and the longer i didn't do it, the harder it became to try to do it:

and then it hit me. or, more accurately, she hit me:

that's right! sister mara single-handedly is responsible for the return of this blog. good luck? bad luck? who can say? but here we are!

will it take? won't it? will they? won't they? we'll just see. we'll take the leap and just....see:

cool? cool. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Big Bed, the Grown-up Years

we finally got a new bed, which is so big i barely even know if cabana man is in it with me:

unfortunately, i ripped it when unpacking it:

luckily, casper is cool enough to help me with that problem:


Thursday, January 14, 2016

Roach motel

this was a luck so horrifying that it took me months to report it:

here goes....

it was a dark and...normal night:

cabana baby woke me up, demanding sustenance:

so i went to fix him a bottle. and that's when i saw it...

...the world's biggest mother flippin' cockroach:

and he. was. PISSED that i crashed what i can only imagine was his own personal speakeasy:

anyway, i got cabana man involved, but the critter was so quick! we couldn't get him. it was TRAGIC. but there's a little good to it, as well... kenzie's proclivity toward eating all of the things finally came in handy:

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Ok, Cupid!

i've been feeling sorta bummed about my lack of fame lately. but then i got an obviously clairvoyant email telling me that greater happiness was just around the corner:

i'm so excited! i'm going to be so much happier! AND meet new awesome people*:

i thought things couldn't get better, but then i got this super personal email:

i can meet cool men AND asian beauties? my happiness scale is about to get higher than okcupid could ever imagine. 

we did it?!

*given the facts outlined in these emails, i'm sure cabana man will understand....

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