Wednesday, February 27, 2013

We Did It!

was it just yesterday that i was out of stuff to blog about forever? because today, the MOST GREAT LUCKIEST LUCK LUCKED UPON ME. yes, that's right, i got to hear toni morrison speak:



i was sitting in the front row with jayanna and daniel, even:
 

i have to tell you, she was more amazing than i ever could've imagined. funny and sincere and beautiful (i know, it's not a beauty contest, but i'm shallow, so there). best of all,  we made a lot of eye contact:



so i'm pretty sure that we are now best friends forever:

yeah! toni morrison!

event photo courtesy of +robert konigsberg

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Speaking of Meta...

really bad luck strikes again, dear readers. are you ready for it?


























really ready for it?
























here goes!


























i have nothing to blog about! i mean, sure ridiculous things are always happening, but my mind is like a sieve:



i cannot for the life of me think of anything. what if this dry spell lasts forever? what if i never remember a happenstance or dream again? will the blog die an untimely death?

suggestions for what to write about are welcome. save our blog!




Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Pile Up

the bad luck continues! now my zit has a zit of its own:



at least my zit seems happy about it....

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Puberty?

bad luck, guys. i have a huge zit on my chin:



 and it's throbbing:




and it huuuuuurts!


on the plus side, i'm glad that even though i'm nearly 31 years of age, i'm still breaking out like a fucking teenager. wait, that's not good news at all! harrumph.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Easy Breezy

awhile back, c.b. and i drove my mom's car from new york to kansas, which is a drive that according to google maps should take approximately 20 hours:


but we got lucky! my speed demon ways didn't get us pulled over or crushed between two semis, and we made it in record time (about 18 hours including an hour lunch break):


it was a whirlwind trip, and we had to fly home fewer than 24 hours after we sped into town.

everyone knows that flying is a great way to have your soul sucked out of your body through your left nostril. the trip to the airport was fine, no traffic to speak of, but then, bad luck. we had to wait in LINE to print boarding passes because kansas is still stuck in a time where people look you in the eye. UGH!

then MORE bad luck! c.b.--trying to be considerate and responsible--packed my full-sized toothpaste in his bag, forgetting that we had to fly home. i told him to try to sneak it through, maybe they wouldn't take it, but no. they confiscated the shit out of that toothpaste:



as you know from a previous post, i am a hoarder. not of everything, but of many things, and toothpaste is my number one thing. i need it. i need tubes and tubes of it to feel secure in life, and the one the tsa took from us was PRACTICALLY MY LAST ONE*!! so you can see how devastating this was.

i was pretty sure this was the beginning of a terrible journey, but then the most miraculous thing happened. bree was on our flight!

for those of you who don't know bree, she is the shiniest, most fantastic person ever. i will never be able to explain exactly what it is about bree, but everyone who encounters her knows that it's true. one time, we went to see bree play guitar and alan rickman showed up. why? because BREE IS SO FANTASTIC THAT EVEN ALAN RICKMAN AGREES!!



at any rate, we shared both flights with bree and even got to sit beside her on the second flight. and if that weren't awesome enough, when our flight hit some turbulence and death was on the horizon:


bree calmed us down with an anecdote. how did that work? well, bree is bree. i hope you get lucky and get to hang out with her, too!



*nowhere near my last one.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Where's Erin?

this is what i'm wearing today:


right? i'm a total where's waldo!

it's great, too because i've always wanted to be famous, and now, i can be. i'll just hide out in crowds and wait to be found:








yeah!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Dream Post 2

in my dreams last night, i was totally lucky. how? well, i was an olympic caliber athlete in the long jump (but, you know, with a pole vaulting stick*) :



i was doing really well, too, until i left my giant stick in the locker room and didn't have time to go back for it. so close to taking home the gold medal, and i blew it. sorry for letting you down, america.

*as you can see, in my waking life, i am not an olympic anything, even knower of basic track equipment....

Monday, February 11, 2013

This is Only a Test....

this is what was happening at 6 am in my room on friday:


i'm not a very good sleeper generally, but given that my sound machine was cranked up and it was very dark outside, i was actually sleeping quite well. so when the phone rang, i sat straight up feeling properly panicked:


probably someone was dying. or dead already.  such bad luck! i answered it, said hello, and...


an AUTOMATED VOICE told me that school was still going to occur at a school i don't even attend. seriously, nyu? 6 am? do you think that everyone who goes to your school is still up partying from the night before because SOME OF US ARE OLD. not to mention, i'm not even a student there!

i. was. pissed. worst luck of all, my anger made it so that i couldn't even get back to sleep. this is why no one likes ivy league schools.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Brother Bear

so, my brother  is having a really hard time right now.* he's pretty sad, and has been really cognizant of the fact that he needs to be around people at this point. it's really bad luck for him, but SUPER GOOD LUCK for me because...he's been staying with us a lot! here is an accurate, high definition photograph of what it's like for the two of us, courtesy of disney:


it's great! i get to have an audience, and he gets to be annoyed at how obnoxious i am, which provides much needed distraction from sadness:



throw in how much charlie loves bear, and it's a win/win/win!

*we all know how hard it can be to reach out to people in our time of need, and i'm really proud of bear for recognizing that this is something he can ask for. if you happen to see my brother, give him a kind word and a hug. i think he'd appreciate it.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fat Bottomed Girl

remember my sister?


well she has always told me that i'm not allowed to ride a bike in the city because she loves me too much to allow it. (i know! she's really good with the guilt!) nevertheless, i am stressed:



i don't ever exercise:



and i hate riding the subway:



so, when a good friend  of mine got a bike for his birthday and decided to start riding into work, i decided to join him. i don't have a bike (because see above) so i borrowed c.b.'s, which is this vintage red schwinn he got brooklyned* into buying:



but, you know, it's shiny, so it' was perfect for me and my maiden voyage:


on the day in question, i got up at the butt crack of dawn, and gave it a go. it was all going great until the queensboro bridge:


which is only a mile from my house. turns out old bikes have old parts, and it wouldn't stay in the lower gears. i struggled and fell further and further behind:






obviously this is NOT as awesome as the days with +evan and courtney and helen hocker theater and ice pops. apparently, i'm much weaker now.

eventually, i had to get off and walk. it was pathetic. so, i borrowed another bike in the hopes that it would be better. unfortunately, it's also a bajillion years old, and though it is better, it is still doing the gear shifting thing. maybe this means i wasn't meant to exercise?



*brooklyned: verb. past participle. definition: suckered into by means of hipster trickery.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Mal Makak

stop the shit out of whatever you're doing because the luckiest thing that's ever happened to ANYONE just happened here tonight right this second. are you ready? are you? are you ready for...

PANGO!!

ok, so when my brother and i went to haiti for a month back in aught seven, we fell in love with this cheap and wonderful haitian rhum called pango. it's fruity and delicious, and probably has cocaine in it because it makes you SO HAPPY:



well, we brought back a case each, but eventually, we ran out of that stash. and it turns out that they don't sell pango in the states. i mean, we live in new york and we can't even ever find it here. but somehow, someday, somehow, my sister found it for us:


we are going to get SO HAPPY DRUNK! yeah!!

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