A Bose By Any Other Name

because of all the traveling, i decided to get some noise-canceling headphones. luckily, i got them on sale, so they were an entire $20 less than they would have been otherwise:

i got some good quality headphones, but unfortunately, they require a battery:

but--opening them up--it turns out a battery WAS included! the right size and everything!

ahhhhhh:

Dream Post 4

in a horrible twist of bad luck, it turns out that there is only one humpback whale left in the world:

for some reason, i am the sole person appointed to document this noble species before it dies out forever. what an honor!

unfortunately--and as experienced first-hand in this dream--i have no clue how to document a whale, so i can't actually put anything together:

oh well, goodbye forever humpback!

Travel b(L)og Entry 3

one of the things that is tough for me when i visit other countries is that i hate drinking tepid water:

yes, if anything gives me away as an american, it's probably the ice infatuation:

like every other non-us country, ireland does not seem to care for ice. it's impossible to find the stuff! so it was with an obvious bit of good luck that i happened to find the only ice machine in all of dublin:

so i haven't died of dehydration! as if this weren't enough, i let my eyes drift over to the vending machine...and...

THE BEST VENDING MACHINE ITEM EVER!!! finally, i can citizen's arrest drunken idiots on the street. 

ima be a vigilante. career change!

Travel (b)Log Entry 2

in my quick turnaround time between bermuda and ireland, i forgot to grab my full toiletries bag*:

i forgot floss:

vitamins:

deodorant:

and worst of all, my conditioner:

i literally had to use lotion in my hair this morning, which, if i were on okcupid, would probably be the most private thing i'd be willing to admit:

and do you know how damp ireland is? my hair is already starting to frizz and fray:

 

this is no way to make a first impression....



*luckily, i had a supplemental bag with my toothbrush and toothpaste, a little bottle of lotion and not much else.

Travel (b)Log Entry 1

awhile back, i booked travel to bermuda (with sister):

it was our first time there, and posed as an excellent reward to myself for finishing my thesis*:

the night before travel, i went to bed early to catch the 7 am flight. at 2 am i was awoken by my phone. an automated voice kindly told me that my flight was delayed until 1 pm the following day:

thanks for waking me up to tell me that shitty news! and thanks for giving the role of caller to a robot! if i'm awake, some other human should be awake, too! i couldn't get back to sleep, so i messaged with sister, flight moved up to 10 am:

finally, we arrived in bermuda to beautiful weather, just missing the horrible storms that caused the flight delays:

we dropped stuff off at our vacation rental, then decided to go for a stroll to find the nearby store (quoted as "5 minute ride," must not be that far). very hilly. hot, but we got to main road:

there were no sidewalks:

it took as two days, trespassing, and a several mile journey to eventually make it to the store. but, a whole week there, and we didn't get hit by a car. or scooter, even. Success!
 
*already credited as good luck

Lucky 100!

lucky me!

lucky you!  

we made it to 100 posts on this collaborative blog that we have. lucky us!

 

let's celebrate with a lucky cigarette:

One of Life's Winners

don't worry about why i was at mcdonald's, and focus on this good luck: i was an instant winner!

since i'm 18+ years old and am happy to give my credit card information to anyone:

i can claim my one day video rental of one of literally dozens of movies:

mcdonald's you sweet sonofabitch, you just keep on giving!

Why I am a Hero

i really believe in helping the less fortunate. i've spent many hours knitting booties and hats for premature babies:

i spent a month in haiti volunteering to help students pass high school:

i volunteered with meals on wheels:

make a wish:

new york cares:

and i make eye contact with homeless people on the street. but NONE of that comes close to my most recent contribution to society. you see, the other day paul rudd,* david gordon green, emile hirsch and i were chatting.**

emile mentioned that his height was inaccurately posted all over the internet at 5'5" and because i am a hero, i went on a one person quest to right this wrong.

i won't take you through the specifics as they were grueling, arduous, and frankly, a little dangerous, so instead, i'll show you a few choice pictures of the ordeal:

and now, voila!

like i said, i'm a hero.

*My new biggest regret in life is forgetting to wear a ku t-shirt so i could ask paul rudd to sign it.
**by which i MAY mean that they were giving a talk i was attending.