Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A Date with Destiny

i'm hoping that this will be some sort of cinderella tale, where all of my dreams come true:

it all started a couple of days ago when my sister introduced me to this little gem:

it was fate, i tell you! for those of you who don't know, my secret dream has ALWAYS* been to be a singer in a little hole-in-the-wall nightclub. you know, the kind littered with a few alcoholics here and there, a disillusioned detective who is always thinking about the cold case of his kid brother's disappearance, and the low life bookie in the corner looking to collect debts owed him:

unfortunately, my severe allergy to cigarette smoke made this dream impossible. frowny face:

enter scott bradlee, who is in the business of creating this exact look and feel, but without the smoky atmosphere:

that could be me!

so, scott bradlee, it's to you to fulfill my dreams. you have it in your power to provide good luck where previously there was only bad. you could change the world!

*to be honest, the singer dream came after dad dashed my dream to be a nun. apparently, there is no such thing as a jewish nun.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Poo-poo Platter

the other day, as i was changing cabana baby's diaper, he decided he wasn't finished and power sprayed me with poo:

i was glad that it was a direct hit to my clothing and not the bed linens, which are much bulkier to wash:

as i started to walk away--congratulating myself on a job well done--i slipped on more poo and nearly killed myself:

but cabana baby wasn't in my arms at the time, so was in no immediate danger. all in a day's work!