Why I am a Hero

i really believe in helping the less fortunate. i've spent many hours knitting booties and hats for premature babies:

i spent a month in haiti volunteering to help students pass high school:

i volunteered with meals on wheels:

make a wish:

new york cares:

and i make eye contact with homeless people on the street. but NONE of that comes close to my most recent contribution to society. you see, the other day paul rudd,* david gordon green, emile hirsch and i were chatting.**

emile mentioned that his height was inaccurately posted all over the internet at 5'5" and because i am a hero, i went on a one person quest to right this wrong.

i won't take you through the specifics as they were grueling, arduous, and frankly, a little dangerous, so instead, i'll show you a few choice pictures of the ordeal:

and now, voila!

like i said, i'm a hero.

*My new biggest regret in life is forgetting to wear a ku t-shirt so i could ask paul rudd to sign it.
**by which i MAY mean that they were giving a talk i was attending.