Can't Hear You...

our stupid dogs have figured out that if they tap dance outside of our bedroom long enough in the morning, it will wake one of us up and they can start their boring day:

on the rare occasion that tapping alone doesn't work, sir charles will let out a woof every thirty seconds:

and/or slurms mckenzie will whine as loudly as possible while banging her head against the door:

it's...the worst. but, like some sort of...good thing that happened, i got a package in the mail recently:

i opened it up:

and looked inside:

somehow, someway, g-wretch sensed what was happening all the way from dc and did me a solid. now i can ignore them properly!

This is Only a Test

i was trying to do a good thing and help someone troubleshoot a hangout on air, and i unluckily ended up sending an invitation to watch said hangout to everyone i know:

while this was embarrassingly bad, i am clearly lucky to have so many people interested in what i have to say: 

i thought i could just quietly pretend that it didn't happen, but i got so many emails, pings, calls and texts about this mysterious hangout on air that i felt i owed some sort of an explanation to the public. so, like a disgraced politician, i humbly went on air:

did i learn anything from this fiasco? probably not. 

The Queen has Landed

THIS IS IT! dairy queen has finally made it to the 5 boroughs:

today--following the advice of the interwebs--i went to partake in the grand opening:

however, when we got there, they were emphatically not open*:

there were people inside, though....eating piles of deliciousness while we loitered outside. it was really sad. but the good luck?

it will be open starting on thursday.

*i don't want you to worry; i got my ice cream fix anyway. 

That's MRS. Cabana Boy to You!

i'm finally a complete person:

booyah!

The Airplane Redemption

bad luck, i found myself on a plane again, and one of the flight attendants was being a total jerk to me. but, good luck, the flight had free movies to watch and one of them was shawshank redemption!


so there i was watching the movie and ignoring the bitchy flight attendant:

and along comes this guy:

who taps me on the shoulder:

and asks:

i say:

and he says:

to which i say:

apparently, being pregnant has its advantages!

Baby's Got Back (and Front)

it's happened:

i am now too fat to fit into my jeans:

and if that weren't enough to make me feel bad, i'm also too fat to fit into cb's jeans:

i thought i was going to have to buy some new dresses, but as luck would have it, it turns out i own some:

actually...i own a LOT:

i may never have to buy a dress again!

The Stuff of Actual Nightmares

MY TOOTH FELL OUT!!

ok, well, maybe not the entire tooth, but my crown came off as i was thoroughly enjoying something chewy:

and since this was SO SHOCKING and i LITERALLY have nightmares where my teeth fall out, i naturally did the only thing i could do:

start crying:

eventually--with the help of one richelle roy dds--i was able to get in to my dentist and get it fixed pretty quickly. but not before having an existential crisis:

in conclusion, dreams come true.