USA? Not today!

usa is marathonning ncis instead of law & order svu:

but, tvland is playing a golden girls marathon:

it all evens out in the end!

The Yellow Brick Road

omGOD! the best luck ever! my hotel is less than a five minute walk from little caesar's:

AND there's a law & order svu marathon on:

my life is perfect!

Unclean! Unclean!

bad luck, c.b. has pink eye:

but lucky me, i have yet to catch it:

to make sure my good luck holds out, i'm catching the first flight out tomorrow morning to stay the hell away from this pink eye business. let's hope that the other passengers on the plane are as lucky as i am!

We Literally Couldn't Know!

bad luck. someone put almost 400 toostie rolls in my desk and now i'm sick from eating them all:

happy weekending!

Despite All the Rage?

today's rats are very lucky. after years of lobbying and backsewer abortions that have led many a female rat into the very lap of disease and death:

they are finally getting the birth control that they need to control their own family planning:

and female rat rights are finally taking off:

yeah!

Whatever it is I think I see...

great luck today! i came into my office to find this:

 true, i bought them and knew they were coming, but i ordered them LAST NIGHT. at like, 10 pm! and they're already here! clearly god wants me to have tooth decay:

 
also, i've already consumed literally 15 of these (i seriously JUST opened the package about two minutes ago. i'd eat faster but my fat little fingers have to do so much unwrapping!) i'm well on my way to feeling sick!

The Original Party Worm

good luck! i left slurms mckenzie alone for three minutes (really 3.5 minutes) while i went to get the laundry, and she didn't do anything bad!

  considering this weekend's (supervised) vomit incident:

 
 i couldn't be happier. well, i mean, without giving both dogs away, that is....