Big Bed, the Grown-up Years

we finally got a new bed, which is so big i barely even know if cabana man is in it with me:

unfortunately, i ripped it when unpacking it:

luckily, casper is cool enough to help me with that problem:

yay!!!

Roach motel

this was a luck so horrifying that it took me months to report it:

here goes....

it was a dark and...normal night:

cabana baby woke me up, demanding sustenance:

so i went to fix him a bottle. and that's when i saw it...


...the world's biggest mother flippin' cockroach:

and he. was. PISSED that i crashed what i can only imagine was his own personal speakeasy:

anyway, i got cabana man involved, but the critter was so quick! we couldn't get him. it was TRAGIC. but there's a little good to it, as well... kenzie's proclivity toward eating all of the things finally came in handy:

Ok, Cupid!

i've been feeling sorta bummed about my lack of fame lately. but then i got an obviously clairvoyant email telling me that greater happiness was just around the corner:

i'm so excited! i'm going to be so much happier! AND meet new awesome people*:

i thought things couldn't get better, but then i got this super personal email:

i can meet cool men AND asian beauties? my happiness scale is about to get higher than okcupid could ever imagine. 

we did it?!

*given the facts outlined in these emails, i'm sure cabana man will understand....

Mystery Post

bonus post! i need help figuring out how to categorize this one....

today, i really had to pee, but i was SO TIRED that when i went to sit down, i panicked and couldn't figure out if i was properly aligned over the toilet:

causing me to readjust at the last minute and nearly fall on the floor:

in the end, it all worked out (good luck, i guess?), but the fact that this happened at all is highly suspect (bad luck??).

thoughts?

I'm Lovin' It!

i've come out of hiding for this very important psa: mcdonald's is now serving breakfast all day!

huzzah!!!

Chewbacca

and now for some good luck!

i feel sick. 

A Leak in the System

BAD LUCK! i came home to this:

and this:

and this:

made it obvious who it was. 

like i need more of my stuff to be soaked in urine!