Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fat Bottomed Girl

remember my sister?

well she has always told me that i'm not allowed to ride a bike in the city because she loves me too much to allow it. (i know! she's really good with the guilt!) nevertheless, i am stressed:

i don't ever exercise:

and i hate riding the subway:

so, when a good friend  of mine got a bike for his birthday and decided to start riding into work, i decided to join him. i don't have a bike (because see above) so i borrowed c.b.'s, which is this vintage red schwinn he got brooklyned* into buying:

but, you know, it's shiny, so it' was perfect for me and my maiden voyage:

on the day in question, i got up at the butt crack of dawn, and gave it a go. it was all going great until the queensboro bridge:

which is only a mile from my house. turns out old bikes have old parts, and it wouldn't stay in the lower gears. i struggled and fell further and further behind:

obviously this is NOT as awesome as the days with +evan and courtney and helen hocker theater and ice pops. apparently, i'm much weaker now.

eventually, i had to get off and walk. it was pathetic. so, i borrowed another bike in the hopes that it would be better. unfortunately, it's also a bajillion years old, and though it is better, it is still doing the gear shifting thing. maybe this means i wasn't meant to exercise?

*brooklyned: verb. past participle. definition: suckered into by means of hipster trickery.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. umm, my comment got deleted by mistake. what i SAID was: you started right out on the hardest bridge! try heading to Greenpoint over the Pulaski instead.

  3. well, that would take me to brooklyn, which sounds scary. unless you're inviting me over to eat your dehydrated foods, in which case, i'm there!

  4. I love the term brooklyned. You are a brave soul.

  5. I was pretty proud of myself for that term. I'm glad you appreciate it!

  6. odd, you usually tell me you've written a new post. i wonder why you didn't tell me about this one?*

    *i don't wonder. i know exactly why. BE CAREFUL and DON'T DIE! otherwise, i'll be pissed.


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