Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Fat Bottomed Girl

remember my sister?


well she has always told me that i'm not allowed to ride a bike in the city because she loves me too much to allow it. (i know! she's really good with the guilt!) nevertheless, i am stressed:



i don't ever exercise:



and i hate riding the subway:



so, when a good friend  of mine got a bike for his birthday and decided to start riding into work, i decided to join him. i don't have a bike (because see above) so i borrowed c.b.'s, which is this vintage red schwinn he got brooklyned* into buying:



but, you know, it's shiny, so it' was perfect for me and my maiden voyage:


on the day in question, i got up at the butt crack of dawn, and gave it a go. it was all going great until the queensboro bridge:


which is only a mile from my house. turns out old bikes have old parts, and it wouldn't stay in the lower gears. i struggled and fell further and further behind:






obviously this is NOT as awesome as the days with +evan and courtney and helen hocker theater and ice pops. apparently, i'm much weaker now.

eventually, i had to get off and walk. it was pathetic. so, i borrowed another bike in the hopes that it would be better. unfortunately, it's also a bajillion years old, and though it is better, it is still doing the gear shifting thing. maybe this means i wasn't meant to exercise?



*brooklyned: verb. past participle. definition: suckered into by means of hipster trickery.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. umm, my comment got deleted by mistake. what i SAID was: you started right out on the hardest bridge! try heading to Greenpoint over the Pulaski instead.

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  3. well, that would take me to brooklyn, which sounds scary. unless you're inviting me over to eat your dehydrated foods, in which case, i'm there!

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  4. I love the term brooklyned. You are a brave soul.

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  5. I was pretty proud of myself for that term. I'm glad you appreciate it!

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  6. odd, you usually tell me you've written a new post. i wonder why you didn't tell me about this one?*

    *i don't wonder. i know exactly why. BE CAREFUL and DON'T DIE! otherwise, i'll be pissed.

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