Monday, December 24, 2012

Ikea? Youkea!

when i was maybe seven or eight, i got to the middle of a tootsie pop only to find it tragically hollow:

i wrote a lovely but stern letter to the tootsie roll company, explaining the deep betrayal i'd experienced, and let them know that i wasn't sure our relationship could bounce back from the worst thing that ever happened to anyone ever:

they sent me an envelope with nothing but a coupon for $1.00 off my next tootsie roll purchase over $5.00, no letter, no note of apology, just this:

when i received a gift certificate in the mail from ikea the other day, i suffered an awful flashback to that terrible time:

after all that ikea did to me, the HOURS of anguish, they try to buy me off with $25? do they not understand that it would cost me so much more than that just to get to an ikea? i hate them!

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